tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-419451516926715648.post5512618810919640268..comments2023-06-14T06:14:48.211-05:00Comments on Muse and Vent: IntimidationBobbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01846665855246867179noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-419451516926715648.post-32226298499974256222010-08-23T15:33:11.920-05:002010-08-23T15:33:11.920-05:00Good question, Val, and I think it must depend on ...Good question, Val, and I think it must depend on the child's personality. In junior high, I put up with more than I did in high school, and then college came around and I forgot myself again.<br /><br />I think if we let our kids know it's okay to get angry and to *own* their own bodies and to defend their bodies, it's a start. Leading by example helps, too. You're a strong woman, and I can't imagine Zoe not seeing that clearly. <br /><br />It's scary, though, to think of all the things I *should* have told my parents and didn't. I didn't feel like I was hiding anything; I just didn't think it was something worth telling--like the gym teacher. Can you imagine how you'd react to someone treating your daughter like that guy treated you? I just hope my kids know I have their back . . . and that I won't consider any response too extreme (short of serious criminal acts, of course) when it comes to them protecting themselves from intimidation and assault.Bobbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01846665855246867179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-419451516926715648.post-86447900661512843982010-08-23T15:23:11.090-05:002010-08-23T15:23:11.090-05:00I had some kid grab my crotch once when I was walk...I had some kid grab my crotch once when I was walking home from high school. Just reached over and gave me a squeeze as he walked by. I didn't know him. I had no idea how to respond and I never told anyone. But I sure hated walking home alone from school after that. How do we teach our children to deal with those things?Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00497954682322436043noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-419451516926715648.post-47108254013459184862010-08-23T14:38:53.466-05:002010-08-23T14:38:53.466-05:00I SO wish I'd had the courage to lean over and...I SO wish I'd had the courage to lean over and say any number of things to the guy. And looking like a jerk is one reason I didn't. I kept thinking, "What if I'm wrong?" I ready your SIL's post and now I'm reading "The Gift of Fear." <br /><br />And what IS it with us attracting creepy old men? I've attracted them since high school if not sooner. There was this one MINISTER, for crying out loud, that used to come into my parents' store (before my brother took over ownership) and ask if I'd like any "private counseling." I always politely declined (which is probably why I keep attracting them). He asked me what I liked for lunch, and then he brought me Chinese takeout one afternoon. <br /><br />The next time he came in, my mother quickly ushered him out, lectured him about, in essence, stalking me, and made it clear he wasn't welcome in the store again. She only told me about that months later when I commented on not having seen him recently. I was in my early 20s and was clueless.<br /><br />I'm done, as your SIL put it, with playing the victim. I'm getting way too old for this.Bobbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01846665855246867179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-419451516926715648.post-62040783551240031342010-08-23T14:26:57.737-05:002010-08-23T14:26:57.737-05:00This reminds me of my SIL's recent post about ...This reminds me of my SIL's recent post about a scumball that was targeting her at a grocery store. Basically she said what you've said here - we are too polite to total strangers. I realize there are always going to be slimeballs. What infuriates me is the targeting and profiling. The ability to keep their nastiness reserved for a select audience and counting on us to be quiet or afraid or not directly confront them. <br /><br />Wouldn't it have been great to just lean over and say, "Are you doing what I think you're doing? Because that makes me want to hurl and now I'm going to go tell the manager, who happens to be my brother." <br /><br />I've been frozen up in many situations, so I'm not faulting you at all. I have had a few encounters where I've been more direct with "iffy" people and yeah, I looked like a jerk, but I felt more in control of the situation. <br /><br />I should note here that when I was on FB, I did that 25 random things post and one of my random things is this:<br />I attract creepy old men. <br /><br />I'm sorry that we have that in common.AngryBakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17353130759155569342noreply@blogger.com